Tuesday, May 31, 2005
times n times i try to revitalize my dream,times n times i try to revive my hope n wish...but each time i try to do tat,theres always something tat crush the whole thing tat u are wishing n hoping it to happen...n my wish had been crushed...torned apart n smashed like a wipped potato...though it was is a mannered way...but i am crippled...through the conversation,through wad we are talking n through the way she tells me...though wad u see is something tat are not similar to the ans...but wad she spokes is the way she expressing herself...this is not the first time...i seems to be familiar with the feelings n the depression...it seems to be like an old friends of mine...i guess i really need to be cooled down a little...trying to understand the situation,i analyze it...finding fault in any characters of her...but...there's seems to be flawles,nth could be found...i can't help asking y...but each time the same old qn had been ask,each time i am been reflected how stupid am i...i guess nth could had been done...to change the fact tat me n her could nv had a future together...i shld had know this...i shld had...
nights after nights i once set my mind thinking abt it,
thinking of wad shld i do,
of wad must i do,
of wad will i do,
poundering on wad will be the result,
or rather the ans...
i sealed myself in wadever action i gonna do...
endless day n night i had been thinking...
i thinks alot...
i really do...
finally...
i set myself going...
once again...
but...
wad i get in return...
is the same old feelings i got before...
the same old depression n the same old anger...
nth could be so familiar than these feelings...
nth could be so...
so...
hurtful than those words...
though in a mannered way...
but the meaning in a hidden drain...
i shld haf listen to my mind...
I SHLD HAD JUZ GIB UP...
this hr,
this min n this sec...
wad i do was...
nth...
but thinking...
poundering...
sitting infront of my com...
i recite the whole situation again n again...
but this time...
not verbally...
but in a form of...
words n letters...
as these are the form of communication i had done juz now...
n these poem,or rather phrases,
did not meant anyway it could be...
but it rather remind me tat...
i will not fall in love easily...
ever again...
we may still be frens...
so much so tat i really wanted to be in the first place...
so much so tat i really hope my heart does not beat tat fast when i see u,
so much so my eyes does not sets on u everytime we met...
so much so my heart does not...
had u anymore...
can i do it...???
i dunno...
sry...if these words n sentence had hurt u...
sry...because this is the only way i could express myself...
n sry...is the word tat i wouldn't wan to hear it from u...
Went Into Seclusion//*
at 10:30 PM
a PiC oF mE
\\\...hAtEs...///
**//-bAcKsTaBbErS
**//-bAd tEmPeR pErSoN
**//-aRrOgAnT hUmAn
**//-wIsHy wAsHy
